Q: Can you answer my question about the Unification Church (or “Moonies”), which you wrote a book about once?
A: Thanks for your interest, but I am no longer fielding questions about the book or subject. 🙁
Q: Can you please write an article for our political magazine about how even though the people in our political party are awesome, the story of Rev. Moon proves that the people in the other party are rubbish.
A: No, but thanks. Why not write about poverty, war or racism or something? I bet you could write something really good about it.
Q: Could you show up on camera in our doc so we can have the guy who is like, “but not everyone is a fan of the Unification Church. According to John Gorenfeld…”
A: No. By the way have you watched the new Twin Peaks? It’s really good.
Q: Do you happen to have a 300dpi TIFF photo of Rev. Moon’s second-youngest daughter that we can use in our magazine? / Do you have a copy handy of this one invite list for an event put on 12 years ago by former Rep. Curt Weldon (R-PA)? / Do you think there could be a connection between my local city councilman and, etc…
A: What do you think is up with the Owl Cave Ring, anyway?